Unite Africa Trip: DAY TWO

DAY TWO
Ulusaba, a.m.
The flight out from Fed Air was brilliant, I flew on a 12 seater jet (you know the type that all the stars use!),

ok, ok, if you insist, we’ll call it a private jet, jeez what are you lot like! I shared it with four other people whom were guests at the lodge here at Ulusaba (lucky buggers, I’ve since had a look at the lodges, there beautiful). As this time I managed to get to the departure lounge

of Fed Air in plenty of time I sat with two of the guests for a couple of drinks. Tony and Jackie. They will be staying at Ulusaba for about 4/5 days before flying off to Cape Town for a week for the remainder of their honeymoon. They were a really nice couple and very excited about their stay. We had a bit of a laugh regarding my stay, circumstances and how it is likely to differ from theirs and they promised to sneak a complementary beer out to me whilst I was working the land and milking lioness‘s and female rhino‘s. At the landing strip we said our good bye’s, they were picked up by a ranger and I jumped into a jeep with Lindsay. I hope they have a great time and long future together, they were a nice pair, it would be nice to see them around the reserve…..and they’d better have that beer with them.
The remainder of the day was to be, what I thought, a simple introduction to my stay, but then, this is Africa. So the introduction was African style. Firstly Lindsay shown me around the ’staff village’ every time we entered an office we passed through a steel protected door? And then Lindsay gave me the ‘sight’ safety talk. It was much the same as any new job chat really. Something like: ’When you exit a building make sure you have a look around you, particularly at night time, always have a head torch with you and exercise caution in case an elephant is grazing in the staff village (a bull has been helping himself to the nicer green trees that are situated in the staff village) and if you see a lion (yes, a LION) don’t run as it will chase you, try to stand your ground (’ok, I will’) and back away slowly, don’t run (’honestly, I , wont’). I was then shown the remainder of the village. Its has pretty much everything you’d need really, including a bar, gym and, small pool. The nice thing about it is, its all on a basic scale, the extravagance is left for the lodges. This is probably why I prefer the village to the luxury of the lodges, but then, I’m not paying a small fortune, they are. The shop, which is managed by Excel one of the guys from the local Dumfries village, is well stocked, the only rule being if there is only one of a food product left, then leave it in the event it might be required for one of the lodges for a paying guest. Fare enough.

p.m
In the afternoon I was treated to an absolutely, amazing privilege. Lindsay arranged with Greg a Ranger to take me on a safari drive that he was doing in the afternoon with some guests from the lodge.
I can’t say this enough, it was amazing and I probably started to sound like a bit of a numpte on the drive but for five hours the only words I could muster was ’amazing, fantastic, beautiful, incredible and amazing’, I’m pretty sure by the end of it the guest thought I was an African care in th

e community case being cared for by Greg. When some guy asked me my name I replied ’bloody amazingly fantastic!’. On the drive we were lucky enough to see an Elephant mooching around the riverbank, loads of Impala’s, two Hippo’s ambling through the bush (I never new they were nocturnal), Waterbucks with beautiful long striped horns (and oddly enough, a white ring around their arse? All of them, not just the trendy ones), Eagles, a family of Warthogs (my favourite) and then the dominant male Leopard of the reserve. This guy was special, he smoothly slinked about, completely majestically, with a broad strong head and an amazing (there’s that word again) coat. As it was getting late he was just starting to wake up and we were fortunate enough to be able to watch him for ages, chilling out, then cleaning himself, and stretching. No doubt mentally perusing the ’bush menu’, perhaps an Impala leg starter, Warthog stake main (with red wine sauce) and a desert off Zebra bum cheek‘.