A STING IN THE TALE

Day 12












Today the temperature topped out at a body boiling 42 degrees. I was out digging foundations and brick laying with Gilbert. Another tiring, tiring day. Gilbert makes the manual work appear easy, there have been numerous (loads actually) of times when Gilbert has finished his digging, he then looks at me with a slightly wry smile, takes my spade from me and digs my trench as well. Its quite a humbling experience working with these lads. Gilbert and I have moved on a little and we can now have a little bit of a laugh at each other, though sometimes my jokes can still get lost in translation and I get the impression that there’s not many tribal jokes about questioning a mans sexuality……or maybe he just didn’t find it funny
Today I had to work without my top on and to be fair I did deserve a bit of stick. I must say though that when I was sat down and a little kid came over and slapped my stomach and said ’fatty’ whilst laughing was just not cricket. Due to working outside I have attained a slightly, erm, irregular tan. I have a brown head (that could possibly be mistaken for bright red), brown arms but only as far as my bicep, brown legs but only as far as my thigh and the rest is best of British white. When my blue t-shirt came off, due to my tan lines it looked like I’d merely replaced it with a white one. Though my pot belly did sort of give the game away. Gilbert on the other hand is evenly coloured, slim as a rake, fit as a butchers dog and surprisingly strong. So we have a bit of a joke about our subtle differences. I don’t mind though, I even start it myself sometimes, just for the humour.
We’re still waiting for the rest of the guttering order to be delivered, its so frustrating, days and days have been lost because of it. As a result the work we are carrying out is starting to drag. Today for instance was pencilled in as a big day on the guttering. We were hoping to get one if not both of the houses fully fitted with guttering and then install the Jo Jo tanks over the next two days. Instead we’ve only managed to install a small length of guttering and then cement and wall the foundations for the tanks to sit on. One of my big personal concerns is not getting the amount of work completed that I feel justifies my stay. I’ve had some brilliant times and seen some amazing things but at the end of the day I’m here to help and I need to go home feeling I have. Hopefully the gear will be delivered in the next two days so as we can crack on. Saying that, today did get the cementing jobs done and they need a day or two to dry before to much can be done with them. Gilbert and I had a professional disagreement about how the blocks should be laid to make the base for the Jo Jo tank. The tank when full will hold in weight 2,500 kilogram’s of water, a lot of weight. On the first one we built and against my better judgement, Gilbert opted for a design where he broke the breeze blocks roughly in half to maintain a nice circular shape which was more pleasing to the eye. My point of view was that yes it did look good but I felt that breaking the breeze blocks would weaken the strength of the brick. Gilberts opinion was that the bricks would be fine. I have the final say really when it comes down to it, whether my opinion is right or wrong, Gilbert is local, so I think it always best to discuss it. In the end we did the first his way and the second mine. Hopefully none of us will be proved right (if we are though, I hope its me!).
I was finished and back at the staff village for 14.45. A good result as I was going for a drive with Johan, Carl and Sam around the controlled burn site that they did today. I could see the smoke from their fires all day. This was a small ’burn’ but it still covered a few square kilometres. The idea is to burn a controlled area of land in the safest possible way. The burning gets rid of all the dead wood and shrub that is not required to the area, then the team have to take several drives around the area extinguishing any fires that may cause a problem should the wind change. Its serious as well, ten years ago a fire ’jumped’ the fire break, raged out of control, spread for miles around and burnt a lodge to the ground. Tonight’s plan was to take a few beers with us and some steaks and cook them on the ashes whilst having a chat. Sign me up.
After the serious stuff was done, Johan had to put a couple of rogue fires out, we met up next to a burning tree. We forgot the meat but it was still great to have a chat and a few beers. It was nigh on pitch black and the only glow came from the ambers of a near by tree, the shining of the stars and the glow of the moon, a really memorable moment. I love times like these as everyone just relaxes, has a laugh and tells stories. Real lads own stuff. In fact and I’m sure Clare will be thrilled to hear this one, Carl has certainly wet my appetite for an adventure. He and a friend walked for two years from Cape Town, North through the length of Africa with a plan of reaching ‘T’gypt’. They had to call it a day only one and a half thousand K’s away (they walked 11,500) due to some reason or another. It has really got me interested in a mega self sufficient walk, maybe North Africa or somewhere around the Middle East, mmmm, we'll see.
Johan looked down and very casually said ’Ant, careful there’s a scorpion next to your foot’. he said it that carefree I didn’t even register it. He then repeated ‘move, there’s a scorpion right next to your foot’ and shone his light on it. I looked down to my sandaled feet (ideal footwear for a spot of night time fire fighting I’m sure you’ll agree) and there was the biggest, angriest looking scorpion right next to my foot. Sam did say what type it was but it went in one side and out the other, I was gulping my beer to use the bottle for the upcoming ’Jason and the Argonauts’ style fight scene. Instead the scorpion stayed very still, dead still you might say. Upon closer inspection it seemed rather flat. It was also precisely entombed in a size nine sandal print. Buy some stroke of luck, if you can call flattening an animal that, I had unwittingly stood on the poor bugger as it was walking past. The lucky bit was that I did flatten it, had I just caught part of it, it would have got stuck straight into me. Sam told me that they have a good belt to their sting and they do multiple stings in quick succession. Jesus, I’d have been leaping about like something not right in front of three rather bewildered, hardened bush men. Though it’s a shame it bit the dust, I’d have chosen that over a lifetime of embarrassment. It was a gnarly little bugger though, big fat pincers, a stocky body and a more than pain inducing looking tail. I've got these rather ace sandals that i got visiting a pal in L.A and they have a bottle opener on the sole, saying 'Reef' along it. At least the scorpion can 'Rest in Reef'. Clever eh.
Tomorrow its some more bits of outside work and then a game drive with Sam and a braai whilst we watch the cricket. England v South Africa, should be exciting.

GETTING BACK TO MY ROOTS

Day 11

September has been Arbor month, the plan was to plant as many as 400 trees throughout the month. The guests have paid and planted throughout the month and will continue to do so, in fact I’ll be accompanying a young couple who are planting two more trees on Wednesday morning. I have just met them and their from Gatley, small world as they say. Gatley is just a few miles from where I live. I’ll bet they were a bit gutted when they heard my accent, they come all this way and they still meet someone from around the corner, its always the way. They were really nice, I’m looking forward to meeting them again and going into the village.
Today’s planting was on a pretty big scale. The aim was to plant 126 fruit trees in the gardens of six Pride n Purchase sponsored houses. These six houses have been built using the donations of guests staying at Ulusaba and the labour is provided by volunteers, people from the community (generally the people whom will be housed there) and a contractor. The people whom benefit from the houses are ’priority cases’ in the village. They vary from ‘child headed houses’, one of the houses is headed by a girl aged 13!! Can you imagine? In my eyes she’s a young child herself, yet due to both her parents passing away, this young girl takes care of the family, I think there are six of them. Another house is the Makula house, Mr Malueki is extremely ill, I’m not sure what his illness is but it has rendered him a shadow of a man. I’ve already been involved with the family as I’m fitting guttering to their house and installing a Jo Jo tank, meaning they can collect rainwater into the 2500 litre tank. At present they have to walk up to three kilometres for water, the containers they fill are 25 litres so that’s 25 kilogram’s in weight that has to be carried home again. This is done on the heads of his children and his pregnant wife. Prior to PnP involvement the family lived under a piece of corrugated metal and a sheet of plastic. One of the other houses I’m not to sure about the history but one of the children would not have survived had Pride N Purpose not intervened. Prince is an absolutely beautiful little boy, he’s five years old but due to his illness, he’s the size of a three year old. Prince was born HIV positive and last year he was found by Lindsay in a small out house in a terrible condition. It is a terribly sad and it has to be said a very hard to understand story to hear but the good news is he is now a relatively healthy young lad, with a real fighters spirit (but we‘ll come to that later, the little bugger) and a great character.
Today PnP was working with Trees for Africa, another great foundation (put these into the search engine and check out what the do: Pride and Purpose, Trees for Africa and whilst your at it check out Clic Sergeant). We had had the trees delivered the day before and I was the one whom checked them in, and I thought I’d left them in a ’safe’ place. However after placing them in this position, everyone in the staff village at Ulusaba passed me and said ’Are you leaving them there? The elephant will love them’. so I had to again move 140 trees to a different location. The words ’arse’ and ’pain’ spring to mind.
We started off in Mnesi house garden, luckily it was a cool day, with even a little drizzle and there were plenty of hands to help. Most people whom lived in the houses helped but also quite a few other people from the village joined in. they wouldn’t directly benefit from the scheme so that was a real bonus and a very applaudable gesture.
The atmosphere was fantastic, people digging, the ground was bone hard and I’ll have to admit (and slightly embarrassingly) after my first six holes it was the enthusiasm and hard work of everyone else that spurred me on. It was hard graft. Other people were doing the composting and planting and the kids took up the role of watering the trees. It was dead funny though as some of the children are real nippers and their little legs were wobbling under the strain and weight of the water and when they reached a tree some of them were to small to tip the watering can. They stuck at it though. The work was always carried out with loads of chatter and laughter. When people did start to fold, Daniel, the guy from Trees For Africa roused everyone with his enthusiastic and intoxicating personality. This guy has a smile that would light a room.
When not digging, my adopted role was ’big white climbing frame’ for the children. At one point I had six children dangling off me, to be honest though, I love entertaining the kids. Anything I do seems to crack them up. One of the girls literally wouldn’t let me put her down, every time I tried she wrapped her legs around me and held on vice like.
I didn’t know until back at the staff village that Prince, the little boy found in the outhouse, was HIV positive, I’m glad I didn’t find out until after I’d played with him. I would have probably treated him differently, not in the ’stay away’ sense, a lot of the people in the village are HIV and it doesn’t bother me. However I may have felt sorry for him and I think that would have changed the dynamics of the day, I also think this would have been a huge injustice to him.
Prince is a right little bugger. He is constantly looking for mischief, even stood still it can be seen in his eyes. At one point he was terrorising me, a five year old kid was literally terrorising me. I was scared of bending down. All the kids are fascinated by me in one way or another. Normally its my hairy legs, I can be stood having a conversation, I’ll then feel umpteen hands below my knees and when I look down I’ll have half a dozen children pulling hairs or stroking my legs. When they look up at me looking down at them, they’ll burst into fits of laughter and leg it. Prince though, Prince stands his ground. My team for one tree plant was me and five children. On the first few times I bent down I received a resounding five year olds boys bash to the head. Then I learnt to dodge them and even get a few good digs in of my own. I had to do the old ‘what’s that over there’ and point to nothing behind him. As he turned round I’d get him with a little tickle on his belly, if I wasn’t fast out though, I’d get a thwack on the ear. It was at this point that the ‘battle at tree plant’ became completely and unfairly one sided. My hands were full and my guard was down. I knew I’d made a terrible mistake and I was dually punished for it. Before I could retreat I felt, what can only be described as a vice like grip, take a hold of my beard. Prince had glued his fingers to my face and in my feinted (I think feinted) screams of agony he laughed and gripped all the more. I resorted to ear pulling, a bit girlie, but hey, if it works and then I used my own advantages. I gripped him by his legs, whipped him upside down and dangled him six feet in the air. When I put him down he laughed, smacked with a watering can and went on to terrorise someone else. I firmly believe the battle was mine but as for the war, well we’ll see.
Half time was at Pmnesi’s house (one of the houses where trees were being planted), we got stuck into some peanut butter sandwiches and litres of fizzy pop. Pmnesi had been boiling a chicken in a big cast iron pot when we arrived and promptly but good naturedly took it inside out of the way. It was only Charles who was lucky enough to get a piece. I don’t know how he does it.
At the end of a very enjoyable but tiring day we had planted one hundred and forty trees, a staggering amount. There were a few trees left over and Lindsay very kindly gave the volunteers a tree each for their own garden. It may sound like a small but the smiles on their faces told a different story. One, I think a mango tree, had already started to bud, promising indeed!
The real beauty of this day was that for all the hard work that it was, the returns are almost incalculable. Every tree that survives (they work on a 10% loss due to the environment) will fruit in the next two or so years. When it does it will yield over two hundred pieces of fresh fruit, none of which will be wasted. In season the fruit will be eaten fresh and then as it ages it will be made into preserves, chutney’s or dried and ground down into a powder for storage.
The day was fantastic, well worth an aching back and some tight hamstrings. That was everyone else’s ailments, I was fine!!!!

I’d like to start with a formal apology to the public of Great Britain, Israel and to South Africa. I’d like to extend a personal apology to The Paul Kruger Memorial Committee, The Sabie Sands Board of Control, The Foreign Affairs Minister of Britain and IITB (International Israeli Tourist Board). All of whom and quite rightly emailed me to address a lack of factual information in my last Blog.
Sabie Sands alone is not in fact the size of Britain. Sabie Sands and Kruger combined are in fact the size of Great Britain. Kruger is indeed the size of Israel but Great Britain is bigger than Israel (not that size matters of course), therefore it would be geographically impossible for Britain to fit three times into Israel. However Kruger is a very, very big reserve and that is all I was trying to say. Now that’s clear!

DAY 9/10

After a great day off in Kruger (the big reserve), I have spent the last two days working in Dunphries village. The tasks Gilbert, Eric and I had on the first day was to make a new kitchen for Denali School. Incidentally, Gilbert and Eric are Charles’s brothers. You may hear that a lot over the coming weeks as Charles has six brothers and six sisters, a hell of a lot of mouths to feed under the circumstances. When the kitchen was initially mentioned, I did feel that this is where I might make my first cock up (it actually would have been the second cock up, the other day I put a full block of butter in the microwave to ‘soften’ it whilst I was making my tea. I probably needn’t even finish this but I forgot about it. When I did remember, well, I had fifteen minutes of cleaning ooze up to think why I shouldn’t do it again). Yes I was a little concerned about making the kitchen, however as everything is relative, I needn’t have worried. The outdoor kitchen was simply four posts cemented into the ground making a area of 9 square metres. It then had four horizontal posts nailed into the top of these vertical posts, making a cube and then three zinc corrugated sheets screwed to the top of the cube. An outside kitchen. As I said, everything is relative. If we received this kitchen in England we’d probably, to put it lightly, refuse to pay. Then again I’m sure your current kitchen arrangements are not sitting outside on the dirt, with two sheets of scrap corrugated metal propped up horizontally by three old oil barrels, whilst you crouch down and put a cast iron pot on an open flame, I know mine isn’t. So when the kitchen was completed, Ester, the school principal was extremely happy with the result. The extent of her thanks was very heart warming. She now had a place that people could stand up in (it was two metres high) and cook for the children. She had a new outside kitchen, relatively speaking.

The more I have the pleasure of working with the people of Dumphries village, the more respect I have developed for them. Their sense of community spirit is admirable and almost enviable for someone coming from a ’developed’ part of the world. I’m not saying that we wouldn’t re-find this spirit if we had to, I think or hope we would, however generally we don’t need to, so generally, we don’t.

Ester, Juliet, Usbie and a third teacher (can’t remember her name) all work at the Diani school. Its an infant school so the education is more of the development kind, basic English, which is so nice to listen to, maths and social activities. The English is taught by the teacher saying a word or little phrase in her shangal accent and then the children repeating it loud and clear in their own lighter tone. I catch myself just standing there listening sometimes at the melodic tones in the voices. They then sing a couple of nursery rhymes, the main one being ’if your happy and you know it clap your hands’ and have a play. When I sing it to them in the play area I have them stamping their feet, jumping and allsorts. I don’t think they understand what I’m saying, in fact I’m sure they don’t as not many do out here but they follow the actions and it makes them and me laugh. The kids also get fed, I think its mostly maize but it puts food in their bellies. The school is very well organised, the kids do as their told and teachers have their meetings. Here’s the clincher, they haven’t been paid for ’TWO YEARS’, two years, but there they are doing their teaching and looking after the kids every single day. All due to a community spirit and because it still needs doing, if they don’t do it, the community suffers. If I hadn’t been paid for two years I’d have no house, no car, no bikes (eek, its getting serious now), little clothes, little food, no travel. Would I still do my job? Nope, especially when the people not paying me are doing very well for themselves.

I was talking to Usbie and he explained that the education services say they are going to pay them, it just hasn’t been sorted out yet. When they do finally start to receive payment and their not sure when, it wont be back dated, it will be from that time onwards. I have spent a good few hours with both Usbie and more with Ester and they are both great people, Ester is I would say, inspirational, she still tries her luck though. When we went to measure up for the Jo Jo tank tap and the guttering, she asked me to dig a borehole instead, a huge undertaking and when we made the kitchen she asked if I could brick it a little. She asks it with a twinkle in her eye, when the ’no’ hits her ears, as she expects, her huge smile crosses her face and again she thanks us whole heartedly for what we are providing. She’s a lovely, warm lady and I really enjoy speaking to her.

I’ve also started to understand the saying I’ve heard on so many occasions, ‘make a plan’. It’s uttered near most all the time before a problem is solved. At first when I heard it I thought it was passed down office jingo, the type of biz we hear in meetings, not unlike ’keep me in the loop’ or ’we need to think outside the’, you know the stuff. I now realise its an analogy for ’this is all we’ve got, so lets get on with it’. Materials are hard to come by as money is tight, transport to get materials is equally as hard to come by and if you don’t have the correct stuff with you or you never had it in the first place, well you just have to ’make a plan’. It’s a really simplistic method, we (in England) over complicate everything with so many options and variants, its just the way things are. If you don’t have options, then the simplest method is generally the best.
Working manually with Gilbert I’ve witnessed this ’make a plan’ attitude on so many occasions. If we’re presented with a problem, whilst I’m there muddling through all the ‘what if’s’ and ’if not’s’ Gilbert quietly says ’no problem’, slips off and comes back normally with a valid and workable alternative. Its refreshing to see and quite humbling really. It may begin to sound like an almost romantic picture I’m painting but at the end of the day its like this because their life is hard, so this is how it has to be. An example of this is Gilbert and I talking and I asked something about things they need and he replied with a quizzical look ‘we make it’, as if to say ’what else is there to do?’ A good example is when I had finished with the wood for kitchen, therefore it was waste (to me), Gilbert asked to keep it. When I asked why, still thinking it was scrap he replied smiling ’to make a chair’. It wasn’t the first time I felt almost envious of his life. I have however seen and heard about the hardships that drive this way of thinking and for that I’m not envious.

The work Gilbert and I carried out on the school was very enjoyable. The guttering work went really well, we worked together and had a good laugh. Gilbert can really work hard, he put me to shame a bit. I brought some beers with me though so that readdressed things. Charles, Gilbert and I had a nice bit of a chill out at dinner time in the shade, supping the beers and got to know each other better. Its also very rewarding to see projects in the village that I’ve been involved in taking shape and it’s such a great feeling to know that these little projects will help the people. Probably more than I can yet comprehend.

Tomorrow is a big day. Lindsay has organised a project with ‘Trees for Africa’ and a number of people from the village. The aim is to plant one hundred and twenty six trees in the yards of six community houses. A real hands on initiative for the community get together. Should be good.

DAY 8

KRUGER NATIONAL PARK
(AND A CLOSE ENCOUNTER OF THE LION KIND)

Today I was given an unexpected day off, well yesterday I was given it, today I had it. There are a couple of places I had pencilled in for when I had days off and the Kruger Game Reserve was one of them. I’m not to sure of the history of the park but I passed through the Paul Kruger gate and took pictures of the Kruger Memorial Stones (I think ‘stones’ is definitely selling them short. There’s about six, each as big as a house and stacked naturally on top of each other. Not directly on top of course but stacked). So I reckon the history is that Mr Kruger was an extremely rich man and a very big naturist.

The reserve is one of the biggest in the world, it is in fact as big as Israel. I read that fact somewhere, I’m not actually sure how big Israel is but the comparison makes the reserve sound big. The reserve I’m in, Sabie Sands is as big as Britain and I was told that Sabie fits into Kruger more than three times. That little tit bit should help a little more.

As I only had the day I stayed in the far south of the reserve and I only covered a smidgen of that. In the morning I packed lunch and headed off. This was the first time I’d headed out of Sabie on my own and I had to keep reassuring myself that I was going in the right direction. All the roads are dirt roads for the first one and half hours and they all look the same. Everything went to plan though and I was in Kruger not long after. As my time there was limited, I had from 9am until 1800, I had already preplanned a southern loop. This had me starting at Paul Kruger gate then driving North East for about 55k to Tshokwane, South to Lower Sabie and then North East back to Skukuza and then back to the gate. A nice big loop of 100 + k.

The scale of Kruger is overwhelming, at times when the road I was following climbed a few hundred metres the view was breathtaking. From the vantage point of Mlondoza the savannah stretches to the horizon and goes almost as wide. I was lucky enough to receive a gift of a very good pair of binoculars before I came out here (thanks Anne and Tony) and they really were well used today. I spent ages checking out the view and on all that flat land there was one lone buffalo. What the hell was he up to on his own out there, talk about a target. Cool as a cucumber though he just ambled along, occasionally diving onto his back (no not hiding) cleaning or scratching himself in the sand/dirt. It was really nice to watch and quite comical, my dog does it all the time back home.......but thats in sheep shit.

The amount of animals I saw was incredible and not just singular either, herds of hippo’s wallowing in the mud and water, big fat fellas on the land but like slightly plump mermaids in the water, up to twenty elephants with babies grazing together, wildebeest walking along in long lines and a huge rhino came out of the heavy scrub and trotted right in front of the car. A big boy. I was sneakily and covertly (in a big bright blue ford pick up) approaching a giraffe to get a close up photograph when he not surprisingly heard me. He stopped and his long neck straightened clearing the trees he was snacking on. As I lifted the camera to get the shot about ten more giraffes heads slowly materialised from behind the trees. The only thing missing from the scene was the background music to Jurassic Park. Great moment.

I also did a bit of ‘off roading’ on the dirt tracks and spent a bit of time in the souvenir shops, which were really good with loads of great gifts but I’ll be getting my gifts from the people of the road side so I know the money reaches the right pockets. I then stopped off at one of the designated stopping areas and had some dinner. Two waters (I only found out later I could have had beer in the park) some cheese and ham butties, a tomato and some crisps. After this I had a little more of a drive round and headed off. I had to put my foot down a little to reach the gates as they close six sharp and they don’t let you out, or so the sign said. Because of this I had to drive straight past a group of vultures ripping into a carcus, shame.


The ride back to Ulusaba was, erm, interesting. Other than today I’ve only been out of the place once and that was with Lindsay. So seen as I nearly got lost in the daylight leaving and it was now dark, I decided to enter the reserve by a different gate, miles from the one I should have used. It wasn’t to bad really (at first) as I was following the perimeter fence and I was actually really enjoying the experience. The windows were down, it was pitch black and all I could see were the headlights bouncing around the dirt road in front of me. I was travelling really slowly due to the road conditions when I heard some noise to my right. I stopped the car, cut the lights and turned to the noise. Jesus, Wholly Mary. About fifteen feet away from me were FOUR BIG RHINO’S. Each one as big as the car. I’m not sure if like dogs they could smell fear, I’d be surprised if they missed mine but as I slowly reached for my camera, my heart pounding, when the bloody great thing started running towards the car. Shit, I dropped the camera, dropped the accelerator, dropped several heart beats and got the hell out of dodge. My heart was racing, it was a complete thrill, though a little scary. I was on my own for the first time, in the dark and I was lucky enough to see the rhino’s up close. As in, up close.

Lindsay phoned me a couple of times on the drive (I think she was a little worried about the time or maybe her car. Definitely the time, I hope) to check if I was ok and one or two game drives with guests past me. I was loving it though, it felt great. I also saw a few jackals scurrying about and then it was all quiet again. Its never actually quiet, the animals are always making noises. But they were the only noise.

I was now on a road I’m familiar with as it leads to the gate I go through to work in the village. I had the windows down again and was daydreaming listening to the night. As I looked up, the road was blocked. In front of me and walking directly towards the car was a full pride of lions. My heart was absolutely racing, I couldn’t go round them, I had to wait for them to go around me. Out of the dark and into the headlight more appeared and as the lioness’s approached the car a big male came out of the dark. He really did look the part, big, broad and with a large full mane. They looked beautiful, slowly approaching, eyes shining in the lights, just staring right into the car at me. As a lioness got level with my door I remembered the windows, quickly putting them up I suddenly felt very vulnerable. I didn’t know how they would react or what they were going to do but I certainly started to feel my reaction and I knew exactly what my body was about to do. It was a mixture of excitement, fear and, well, fear actually. In all there were five lioness’s and a lion and all next to the car, I could have (if I was a complete plonker) put my hand down and touched them. I would then have brought my blooded stump into the car and drove away, regretting the decision of course. Instead I sat there watching, heart racing.

The lions past and I drove on.

The day has been fantastic. The drive home was a complete and utter adrenaline rush. The best ever, a complete privilege.

DAY SIX AND SEVEN

(AND ON THE SABBATH, I DID BREAK THE ONLY HAMMER)

The last two days I’ve been getting stuck into the outside work at the schools. The two guys I’m working with in the village are Sipo and Charles, both great lads in their own right, both completely different.

Sipo or Seeps as we call him is twenty years old, fairly tall with a slim athletic build, which he needs as he tells me he has SIX girlfriends (one of which he trusts). No wonder he has such an athletic build! Seeps wants to be a builder and is a very enthusiastic lad. What he doesn’t have and unfortunately what he needs are academic qualifications or any papers that say he can build and unless someone is willing to sponsor him (like Pride n Purpose) he probably wont attain them. That doesn’t mean he’ll never be a builder but it does mean he’ll stay as either a labourer or get paid very little. Also he could do with catching a lucky break and just finding work. Seeps does work for Johan (Lindsay’s husband) at Ulusaba when he needs him and he’s the ’go to’ guy for Lindsay when a volunteer is around for working in the Dumphries village. He last spent six months working with Paul, a qualified builder, doing some pretty big projects Dehani school, Jeremiah creche and Amensi house (all Pride and Purpose funded and built houses) and now the lucky bugger is working with me for a month. Other than that he’s just your usual teenager with rafts of music (reggae and hip hop mostly) and he watches loads of films. His genre of choice are martial arts films. I’ve been talking loads to him about Jean Claude Van Dam and Arnold Schwarzenegger who he’s fans of. I’m not really but he struggles with my name so saying theirs is well worth the chat.

Charles, again is a super cool lad. I think Charles is about thirty but he carries a much older head. When I first met him I described him to Lindsay as an ’over see-er’ and I think though he is more talkative now I still see him in that role. On the first few occasion I met him he was sort of keeping an eye on peoples behaviour and when they said something in Afrikaans about me that was what he might consider ’disrespectful’, he suitably brought them back into line. Sometimes with just putting his finger to his lips. He’s also a quiet spoken and reserved sort of person. Charles’s role with Lindsay and therefore with me is as a driver. Dividing Dumphries village from the reserve is the perimeter fence (infact as I’m writing this I’m listening to some lions calling outside, they’ve been fairly close recently), we drive down to the fence, a guard opens a single pedestrian gate and then Charles drives us from the gate to the village, along some pretty poor roads. He has his own transport, a ’Buckie’, which is basically an small pick up. When he’s not working for Lindsay, Charles delivers water to the villages and schools. What makes this role more remarkable is Charles is fairly heavily physically disabled on his lower body. Not something he seems to dwell on, at least not in the short time I’ve known him, still he’s up and doing something and making a living for himself. Now that’s a good bloke.

Today's work was repairing swings in Denalli school, this is also where we’ll be fitting guttering and channelling it into the Jo Jo tank. The swings they have at present are old tyres seats, which are held onto the wooden frame by discarded lengths of rope. Also there is room for more swings than is currently available. The plan for today was to cut free the existing rope swings, bolt the chains around the wooden frame and then depending on the type of swing seat we'd use, connect the chain to it accordingly. We would then paint the tyres nice bright colours.

I have to say though, today was a bit of a learning curve for me. Not the work, that was pretty straight forward. The ‘man management‘, yep, I have to get a handle on that. The problem is everyone wants to make a couple of rands but the reality is only a few can be employed to help. Today I was on my own for the first time and the thinking was clearly along the lines of ’lets see what we can get out of the new boy’. A bit like when you step onto the beech with a gleaming white body and Union Jack shorts and every tout in the area comes to sell you all kinds of tat, with initial price you could buy a flat for in Chelsea. Well today I was buying the flats.

I had already drilled the holes into the tyres, the nuts, spanners ect were all on the floor ready. I had briefly explained to Sipo the way the swings were going to be made and fitted to the frame. I then went to tell the teacher what we were intending to do and to say hello. One of the guys who was there clearly saw his chance and started to ’fit’ the chains to the framework. The two problems I now had was (1) he’d want paying and (2) in his haste to get the chains on he’d neglected the aesthetics of the job. The bad news (1) there was no money for him and (2) the nuts were nylon locking ones, so once they were screwed onto the frame, they could not be unscrewed . Great.

Though the swings worked well enough when they were finished and they were painted nice and brightly, I was disappointed that they didn’t look ‘spot on’. The ends of the chains that went over the frame to be fastened back on themselves again, had lengths of chain dangling around and I think looked a little unsightly. They should have been tidy when bolted. The good news is the kids didn’t seem to mind.They had new swings, a different style of swing and the teachers were over the moon that they were held on with chains. So in that sense they were a success.

Day two went much more smoothly, though at first the same guy started to get involved and to be fair he did do some pretty heavy grafting before I had to explain he wasn’t getting paid. The ground is pretty much rock solid and he had dug a whole of about two feet deep and about a foot across. A lengthy meeting took place between Sipo, Charles and Charles's brother. The meeting was mostly in Afrikaans, with the odd 'no problem' and a shake of the head in my direction. The outcome was that Charles and Sipo would pay him a wage out of their money. I did feel a little sorry for them but it was their choice to make.

Today we had to secure a ’Jungle Jim’ climbing frame and make three swings for Jeremiah creche. They had no swings and the Jungle Jim was leaning to one side alarmingly. I don’t think it would have fallen over any time to soon but it was definitely going to fall.

Seeps and I had to dig down and then concrete the base of two three metre pine poles into the holes and then secure the other end of the poles to the frame. This worked really well and the frame was much more sound after we finished. We also put a nice big chain swing on the frame,made with an old landrover tyre. The swing was big enough for two children to swing on together. Like children anywhere though, I'm sure there will be about five or six on there. Like children anywhere, that will only end in tears! we also had to nail dawn a number of planks, re attached the ropes and secure the walk ways. Whilst i was carrying on with the work I started to sing, The kids here absolutely love this. I'm pretty sure their not judging me on vocal capabilities, least I hope their not. My singing voice is my talking voice, just louder. They were laughing their heads off so I was playing up to them. They loved it and started copying me so I starting singing (now bare with me with this one because I'm not sure what its called) 'Ba Ba Ba Ba Bamba, Ba Ba Bamba'. We sand this one for about an hour!
During the course of the day I unfortunately, though rather professionally broke the only hammer we had, it was a clean break and the head cleared two fences. I’m rather proud of that, I don’t think many people could achieve that sort of distance in such heat. We overcome the ‘minor’ set back. The whole frame was then finished off with a coat of varnish. Whilst we were trying to varnish it, the kids started to play on it. It was like fly paper on their hands, kids stuck everywhere.

Sipo had already attached two swings to a separate frame, the third was done by Charles brother (the extra hand!) and again it was crooked, he should have gone to spec savers.

Still it was an enjoyable day, the kids were really excited and the teachers very kindly provided us with some dinner. We were given a chicken piece, some rice, a dollop of tomato sauce, some pieces of onion and a spoonful of beans. It was fairly nice but I’d have to say it was more generous than it was nice and considering what some people have and have to eat, it was extremely generous and I’ll always appreciate the gesture, if not the tomato sauce. I’m definitely a brown sauce kind of bloke.

Tomorrow I’m having an unexpected day off. I’ve been very kindly given the use of Lindsay and Johans ’buckie’ and I’m heading to Kruger National Park. Should be mega.

DAY FIVE

DAY FIVE

I FINALLY GET MY HANDS ON AN AFRICAN BRA…….(AFRICAN BBQ!)

AM
Work for today was shopping (ooh look at all the girls wanting to do volunteer work now), it was DIY shopping (ooh look at all the boys…….). We had to order all the bits and bobs for the jobs we were going to do, this took absolutely ages though. We were buying loads of stuff and my accent wasn’t helping proceedings either, I have a North West England accent, mancunian in all honesty and every now and again I vary it from monotone to mumble. Near most everyone here answers my questions with ’pardon’ or ‘say that again’ first and then provide an answer. I’m just starting to get to grips with speaking differently, I’m still struggling with people from Dumphries village though. Well to be fare, were struggling with each other. The accent is definitely the problem, they’ve learnt or picked up English with S.A dialect and then I come in and turn everything on its head for them. Then I mishear them and then everyone ends up losing their confidence in their own ability to speak English. Things are getting better though.

As well as the DIY we had other things to do including the post and some food shopping, which had me more or less cover Hazyview so I was able to have a good look around the place. One thing that did stick out is that the security guards for the money drops and collections love their machine guns. Big, automatic jobbies, I would have still had a go at getting the money but I’d only get stopped at customs anyway so it seemed pointless! I did get to see some brilliant prezzy ideas, the guys on the side of the road were carving their merchandise as we passed. I’ve got my eye on some ace metal warthogs. Bet my family are reading this thinking ’great, just what I need, a metal warthog in the living room!’ its for me though and it’s the biz.

P.M
Getting back was a bit of a rush, though a more calculated rush as Lindsay was flashed by a copper on the way into town. We were going on a ‘sun downer’ drive with about seven or eight other staff. This was as part of a night of celebrations as Charmane was leaving. She and her boyfriend are moving to a beach lodge in Mozambique. A sun downer is an afternoon game drive, whilst having a few beers and then finding a great place to watch the sun set. It was brilliant, Carl the General Manager (whom used to be the Head Ranger) did the driving, I was luckily enough to sit in the passenger seat. The passenger seat is probably the worst seat for a game drive really but Carl really knows his onions, he also has loads of enthusiasm for the bush and he’s a good laugh. On that drive I watched two male buffalo (Dagga boys, because of the kind of mud, Dagga, they role in) have a bit of a dominance fight, these guys are weighty and when they smack horns and heads it sounds like a tree being felled, we also saw an elephant meandering about the water, giraffes, zebra and then the reserve dominant male leopard. This time he was sat on a branch about thirty feet up a completely straight trunk’d tree. This I’m told is effortless for him, he got down almost before our eyes and he didn’t make a sound and just sauntered off. When he was up the tree he was sat there with his legs dangling over either side of the branch smelling a kill which was ’miles’ away, remarkable. Another massive bonus was sitting (in the car, otherwise its plane foolish!) about ten feet from a pride of lions. The most organised carnivores in the reserve and I was lucky enough to just sit watching them for about twenty minutes. When the car started up and we drove by, one jumped up purposefully but not aggressively, while he did that another was showing its huge teeth whilst yawning. Put together, these two definitely equals a squeaky bottom! On the way back to the Brai Carl pointed out a crocodile in the river, unfortunately I missed it. All the people here see things well before me. When Lindsay pointed out the giraffes, baring in mind their size, I nearly had my head up its butt before I saw it.

The sun set was magical. It was slowly setting over the distant mountains, after the flatness of the bush it looked really special, with the silhouette of the trees in its disc. The sky lit up and then, like a stone, it dropped.

That night at the brai every was in good spirits (literally, I bought a litre of whiskey which is now a measure of whiskey) and loads of funny stories of near misses with animals and past times were being told. One ends with the morale ’beware where you choose to have a shit in the bush’. I wont go through it all but it includes some pivotal words ’pants down, lion stalking, pants up, run’. The rest I think you can work out.

DAY FOUR

DAY FOUR

This morning Lindsay and I (have I mentioned Lindsay is pregnant? Her and Johan are expecting a little girl around the end of Dec, she looks great but I don’t know how she copes in this weather with a baby Johan inside her. Johan is about as tall as me, 6’2, but with a big build) took a bunch of guests from Ulusaba lodge and from a neighbouring lodge, Leopard Hills into Dumphries village to plant some fruit trees in school gardens. The tree planting is part of the Arbor month scheme I have previously mentioned. Today’s guests paid 150 rands to have a look around the village and gain an insight into the hardships the villages face. More importantly they get to see the great projects that their cash funds, other guests paid an additional 150 rands. For this they get to plant one of the fruit trees. It’s a really rewarding scheme not only do they provide a tree that should hopefully bare fruit for generations to come but they also get to (I think this still comes under the reward part!) plant it. Not easy in 40 degree temperatures with spade and about three feet of hard dirt between them and morale utopia.
It is an incredibly popular project and its easy to see why as it gives guests great personal satisfaction and why not, for about £25 a family can have fresh fruit for years to come. To make conversation I was going to ask whom planted the trees when they all returned to the van. The beads of sweat, red faces and struggled breathing sort of took the conversation starter from me. Instead I made the rather obvious comment of ’its hot isn’t it?’

I’m just going to have a quick break from writing this for my tea. Tonight its fresh Ostrich steak, with boiled spuds, stir fried veg and a Hansa beer ….lovely jubbly. I had a interesting one for my dinner. Get this, a sliced warthog sandwich!!!! Unsurprisingly it taste just like ham, which of course it is when you take away the ten inch tusks, wiry fur and lop off that funny upright tail they have. Whilst you get yourself a bucket I’ll grab my tea, I‘ve just decided to put a fried egg on my ostrich ( not something you hear every day).

That was good, burp.

Whilst the guests were busy doing their thing I was left to measure up for the work Sipho and I will be doing in the school. Well I say left, I was permanently swarmed by the biggest, brightest smiles I have ever had the pleasure to see. What a memorable time. The kids at the school were heart warningly cute. They followed my every move and step, laughing their heads off, singing and clapping. Every now and then one of them got the courage to have a prod or poke at me. Pretty soon though personal space became a thing of the past. I started singing as well which had them howling with excitement and laughter (I sang ‘bee bop a loola’) and then the old favourite ‘tiggy it’was played, then I had to try and get back to work and take some pictures of the ’jobs’. Not a chance. One second I was on my own and then as soon as the camera came out and I looked through the view finder, all I could see were little smiling faces. Eventually I got things done and we went on our way. As I was leaving a little girl came up with the usual smile and said in a half shy, unsure voice ’I think you’re a special person’. talk about a heart melter. A truly magical time.

On the way back to the ‘staff village’ Lindsay and I saw a bunch giraffes and a bull elephant. I almost feel sorry for the warthogs, impala and waterbucks now as their that common they don’t get a mention. Unless on a sandwich of course!

Tomorrow were heading into Hazyview, the nearest town for the materials to crack on. It will also give me a chance to orientate myself outside the park for when I go driving for a couple of days. The plan is to drive North and have a look at some mega waterfalls and then up to Blyde River Canyon where I’ll be camping for the weekend. The original plan was just to sleep rough in the car but I’ve been advised not to. So ‘not to’ is the sensible thing to do!

DAY THREE (ALREADY)

DAY THREE (ALREADY)
An introduction to work.
Today I woke up with a head resembling a beacon, a beacon that would save a thousand ships. I shouldn’t have, well, I know I ‘shouldn’t’ have, but what I mean is, I shouldn’t have. I’ve been wearing factor twenty sun cream (nivea, soft on the skin) and a wide brimmed hat. But still I woke up with a head like a beacon. I checked the temperature today and it all made sense…..35 degrees, in the shade. This place is really hot. Johan tells me it can reach 40 odd to 50, with no breeze. I’m glad I won’t be around for that. That is ridiculous.
This morning was the start of the reason why I’m here. Lindsay and I had an informal meeting in her office, behind the iron protective door! From the run up to this trip and to this point, I’ve met some people whom I can only describe as ’doers’. Firstly, Jo Buckley, she never seems to stop and seems to be constantly getting one event or another of the ground or completed. Today I met Lindsay. Not the Lindsay from yesterday, but the Lindsay whom is dedicated to making under privileged Black Africans lives ’better’ (that’s probably not the correct word to use but hopefully you know what I mean). As Lindsay started to try to explain what Unite and Pride n Purpose was all about and how expansive the problems are that effect the day to day lives of the communities living in and around the reserve. I finally started to get a picture of how hard and tirelessly she works and how important the charities are and just how complicated ’simple’ projects can become before being implemented. There has to be a path of communication between Lindsay, the Community Council and the Chief of the area. These are still tribal lands and the Chief, well, he’s the Man, they don’t get any higher.
I for one thought that one of the best preventative measures for the eradication of HIV and AIDS would be to simply for communities stop having ’promiscuous sex. The main problem with this Lindsay explained and one which has to be worked around with most projects, regardless of size or severity, is that I’d looked at the problem from a purely ’western’ point of view. Most of the African village people still look to spiritual and cultural beliefs systems that have been passed down from generation to generation and its very difficult to ‘undo’ those beliefs. For instance, the Santana (local tribal village) believe that if they contract HIV, its not through unprotected sex, it’s a ’curse’ bestowed on them from a dead ancestor. I asked ’why have so many kids then?’ the answer is again a cultural one. Its considered a show of wealth, fertility, masculinity and femininity to have lots of children. Also the state pension is inadequate so to have plenty of children gives the parents long term security later in life as there is more chance of being looked after if there is more children.
Promiscuality isn’t a word associated with having many sexual partners, its excepted (I think expected) for the men in the tribe (very male dominated culture) to have loads of women ‘on the go’. Lindsay explained that the men can have several wives, girlfriends (all know about each other) and mistresses (these are secret….but aren’t they always!) and he gets to have his fun with all of them. They in term one of these women might have a ’bit of a moment’ with another man and so, if undetected in any one of these people aids spreads like ’wild fire’.
Finally, people don’t consult a doctor if they only feel mildly unwell . By the time they are very unwell its often to late to save them. In some cases though it could be possible to save them but they won’t take the medicine .
Deep eh.
On a lighter note there are loads of projects that have a really positive outcome. One is a young guy called Cornelius. He’s a very gifted artist who makes all sorts of trinkets out of beads and other ’simple’ materials. The charities have provided Cornelius with funding, advertising, marketing and a business plan for future growth and Lindsay says he is becoming a great success story and is looking to branch out and employ more of the villagers at his store. In the future there is a very real and likely chance that he will progress from local stalls, shops and lodges and start an internet sight. I’ve already ear marked him for some business, with the usual Unite/PnP discount of course.
What’s my role in all this?
I should imagine by now my mates are reading this thinking ’Jesus, after reading all the above, what the hell have they trusted in his hands? Well I’m sure you’ll be happy to know all my projects are ‘doable’ as Lindsay puts it. I’m really looking forward to getting stuck into them. Firstly I’ll be taking guests to the village to plant trees. Sustainable fruit trees for the villages to use the fruit for themselves and then trade or sell the extra as an income. Then its onto Hazyview, the nearest village to buy materials required for other projects. Later in the week I’ll be meeting Sipho, a young lad from one of the PnP built houses, we’ll be working together repairing a number of roofs, gutters and Jo Jo tanks (rainwater catching tanks, 2500 litre capacity). After that I’ll be repairing a Jungle Jim climbing frame and then finally, finally for now, I’m going to put together a photographic and written document that will be required for future installation and repairs of the complete Jo Jo tank system/structure. I’ll be honest, I’m a little nervous that I might struggle in meeting expectations with a few of these and reading it back now I’m sort of crapping it a little! Knowing my look the guttering will fall on someone’s head, the Jo Jo tank will send the trees swimming into the bush and the Jungle Jim will ’Jungle Jim’ some little kid all the way to A&E!
Just a few last things. Today whilst we were in the office a ‘pack’ of warthogs casually strolled past the door munching on the grass before bobbing off into the bush. Funny looking things. Will they ever evolve to grow into that head of theirs? Then Lindsay got a call from Johan and drove me to the end of the village drive (its not safe to walk anywhere, as illustrated next). When we arrived two huge Rhino’s were grazing in the grass. Massive, built like tanks. Johan explained later that they started to make a ‘shit’ mound. This was to mark their territory . If some one had left a mound of crap that big, I don’t think I’d be inclined to mess with them either. Oh yeah, the bull elephant found his way into the guests lodge garden and proceeded to demolish trees to get his hungry mouth on some nice green leaves……three trees later, he got to them!
Tomorrow, out and about (maybe even in less words).

DAY TWO

DAY TWO
Ulusaba, a.m.
The flight out from Fed Air was brilliant, I flew on a 12 seater jet (you know the type that all the stars use!), ok, ok, if you insist, we’ll call it a private jet, jeez what are you lot like! I shared it with four other people whom were guests at the lodge here at Ulusaba (lucky buggers, I’ve since had a look at the lodges, there beautiful). As this time I managed to get to the departure lounge of Fed Air in plenty of time I sat with two of the guests for a couple of drinks. Tony and Jackie. They will be staying at Ulusaba for about 4/5 days before flying off to Cape Town for a week for the remainder of their honeymoon. They were a really nice couple and very excited about their stay. We had a bit of a laugh regarding my stay, circumstances and how it is likely to differ from theirs and they promised to sneak a complementary beer out to me whilst I was working the land and milking lioness‘s and female rhino‘s. At the landing strip we said our good bye’s, they were picked up by a ranger and I jumped into a jeep with Lindsay. I hope they have a great time and long future together, they were a nice pair, it would be nice to see them around the reserve…..and they’d better have that beer with them.
The remainder of the day was to be, what I thought, a simple introduction to my stay, but then, this is Africa. So the introduction was African style. Firstly Lindsay shown me around the ’staff village’ every time we entered an office we passed through a steel protected door? And then Lindsay gave me the ‘sight’ safety talk. It was much the same as any new job chat really. Something like: ’When you exit a building make sure you have a look around you, particularly at night time, always have a head torch with you and exercise caution in case an elephant is grazing in the staff village (a bull has been helping himself to the nicer green trees that are situated in the staff village) and if you see a lion (yes, a LION) don’t run as it will chase you, try to stand your ground (’ok, I will’) and back away slowly, don’t run (’honestly, I , wont’). I was then shown the remainder of the village. Its has pretty much everything you’d need really, including a bar, gym and, small pool. The nice thing about it is, its all on a basic scale, the extravagance is left for the lodges. This is probably why I prefer the village to the luxury of the lodges, but then, I’m not paying a small fortune, they are. The shop, which is managed by Excel one of the guys from the local Dumfries village, is well stocked, the only rule being if there is only one of a food product left, then leave it in the event it might be required for one of the lodges for a paying guest. Fare enough.
p.m
In the afternoon I was treated to an absolutely, amazing privilege. Lindsay arranged with Greg a Ranger to take me on a safari drive that he was doing in the afternoon with some guests from the lodge.
I can’t say this enough, it was amazing and I probably started to sound like a bit of a numpte on the drive but for five hours the only words I could muster was ’amazing, fantastic, beautiful, incredible and amazing’, I’m pretty sure by the end of it the guest thought I was an African care in the community case being cared for by Greg. When some guy asked me my name I replied ’bloody amazingly fantastic!’. On the drive we were lucky enough to see an Elephant mooching around the riverbank, loads of Impala’s, two Hippo’s ambling through the bush (I never new they were nocturnal), Waterbucks with beautiful long striped horns (and oddly enough, a white ring around their arse? All of them, not just the trendy ones), Eagles, a family of Warthogs (my favourite) and then the dominant male Leopard of the reserve. This guy was special, he smoothly slinked about, completely majestically, with a broad strong head and an amazing (there’s that word again) coat. As it was getting late he was just starting to wake up and we were fortunate enough to be able to watch him for ages, chilling out, then cleaning himself, and stretching. No doubt mentally perusing the ’bush menu’, perhaps an Impala leg starter, Warthog stake main (with red wine sauce) and a desert off Zebra bum cheek‘.
A very, very memorable day. All finished of with a home made lasagne with Lindsay and her husband Johan.
Tomorrow the work starts.
　
　

DAY ONE, TRAVEL DAY.

DAY ONE, TRAVEL DAY.
Arrival (almost).
Well for the people who know me back home and for the people whom have received travel emails from me in the past, you will not be surprised to hear that although I should be writing this first blog from Ulusaba, my destination. I am infact writing it, whilst watching the Wallabies play the Springbok, drinking complimentary coffee and eating complimentary 'Ouma buttermilk rusks' from the comfort of a room in the Garden Court hotel, Jo Burg.
I missed my flight.
Yep, a typical Anthony start to anything. Not to worry though, I've been booked onto another one tomorrow at 12.40, giving me an arrival into Ulusaba of about 14.00, I think. So for tonight I'm in room 357 of the Garden Court Hotel. Mind you other than the 900 rand bill and a short shuttle ride, things are pretty rosy. My room has a desk, a king size bed (though he must have been a short arse king, so I'll give it 'queen' size at best), bath, shower with all the soap bits and bobs, a comfy chair, flat screen TV and a fair whack of teas and coffee. Oh and breaky. For the same amenities in the Hotel Intercontinental next to the airport I was given the knee buckling quote of 3,000 rands!!!!!! Erm no thanks. The exchange rate is 12 to the £.
So I could let Lindsay know that I'd be a day late I had to buy a mobile phone sim card for S.A, all I'll need to do tomorrow before the flight is buy a phone that it works in! Again though, not a great problem once I've mugged an ATM. By 14.00 tomorrow I'll be where I should be, with my own communications device and possibly a car for the rest of the month to have a mooch around.
The travel to get me this far has been a bit of a treat. The luxury of First Class travel from Manchester to London on Virgin Trains and then an unexpected upgrade to Premium Economy on the Virgin Atlantic flight from Heathrow to Jo burg......for two! This gave me and my 'Remora fish' extra leg room, wider seat and some good food with complimentary drinks and also an invitation to join the staff in at the bar in the First Class area of the plane. I declined this, feeling it would have been a little cheeky. Plus I was a more than a little embarrassed that the person whom was sat next to me in standard class told the very kind flight stewards that she was travelling with me whilst I was at the toilet and thus gaining herself an upgrade as well. Remora fish.
What actually happened was I had introduced myself as I sat down to 'Tammy' (the woman sat next to me on the flight)and we were having a chat before take off and then after. The flight stewards made an announcement for me on the P.A (not at all embarrassing) to hand me a note to inform me of the change of connection times at Jo Burg to Ulusaba. He then kindly said as I was coming out to S.A to work for Unite that he would inquire about an upgrade. Tammy had obviously heard this. I then went to the loo and when I got back the steward met me half way with my bag and took me to my upgraded seat, where oddly, Tammy was already sat. It turns out that she had told them she was travelling with me (cheeky bugger). The chief steward then came over to have a chat and, well, it just got to embarrassing and awkward to then 'put the record straight'. so yeah, two people got a very appreciated upgrade.
Right I'm going now, after a well earned shower I'm heading into the Hotel bar for a couple of drinks, some food and to let Lindsay know that everything is fine. I might even head into Jo burg to have a look round.
One other thing of note, whilst I was walking around the airport, there was two advertisement posters in the gents displayed next to each other. One stating tablets that 'made sex amazing, naturally' and the other, right next to it 'why suffer intestinal turbulence', tablets for freeing up wind and diarrhoea. Both arguably great products, I just hope I never get the tablets mixed up!
Tomorrow Ulusaba.

AN INTRODUCTION TO MY BLOG

A little over a year ago, whilst attending the Vision Awareness course, I asked Tony Collins (big cheese) if I could spend some time as a volunteer helping out the organisations Unite Charity and Pride n Purpose in Ulusaba, South Africa.
Well just over a year later and after much shenanigans (can’t guarantee that’s spelt correctly) by Jo Buckley (at this point I’d like to thank Jo for all her hard work, patience and effort in making this possible. Thanks Jo) my request/dream/adventure is about to become a reality.
So then, below is the my blog that will hopefully allow you to follow what I get up to whilst out in Ulasaba. It may even (hopefully) ’inspire’ you to get involved in some way with one of the many amazing projects that Unite and Pride n Purpose are constantly implementing for the welfare and improvement of community life in and the reserve.
Hopefully you enjoy it, if not read someone else’s, I have and there great.
Cheers, Ant.
(Disclaimer: no dictionaries or brain cells were harmed in the making of this blog)